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I'm not the one who needs to be fixed, it is You who is wrong!

25/8/2013

This time I decided to write a little bit about autism. Many people are aware that I am autistic, and for those who are not - well, from now You are. Very often when people hear that I am autistic for the first time, they can't believe that I do have it or opposite - that it s so obvious that there is something different about me. Whatsoever, both of those reactions are pretty insulting. I hope that it's just me who gets them and not other people, because it really can hurt. If You want to know more about autism, visit WrongPlanet and You will find plenty of information. As well You can ask me, I'm very happy to answer any questions You may have.

I may not be perfect, but I'm right!

So, yes, I am autistic. As well I do have brown eyes and dark hair. And I do have two hands and ten fingers. Can You believe that? And inside my body I do have a liver and even lungs. Can't change that either, sorry! Some people are autistic and You should get over it. And yes, I'm clever and I'm able to hold a conversation. Why I do not look lack of empathy? Maybe because my empathy comes from my intellect that is way better than from Your emotions, those are changing every day or even every hour. No, I do not try to be like some characters from Your favourite TV shows, and mostly likely I even do not know them. Yes, I'm able to hold eye contact, but still can't get why it is needed and I chose not to do that, because I prefer to concentrate on what You are saying and not on other moving objects. Yes, I remember what You told me six days ago, I remember what You told me one month ago and most likely I remember what You told me two years ago, and that does not make me strange, I just pay attention when You are talking, because You are talking with me, aren't You? It's not my problem that You can't remember and I have no intentions to make these things up. Why do I ask so many questions? Simply because without asking I will never get an answer. No, just because I'm nice does not mean that I would like to change body liquids with You. No, I'm not bored to speak about the same things again and again, actually I love that! Yes, I do have feelings. No, I'm not over reacting. . .
Most of the time I feel like I do belong nowhere. No one knows what is wrong with me, but everybody knows that I am the biggest mistake in this planet. I can learn everything about humanity and social interactions, because I have brains, can make connections and notice things very well, but all of it will never be a part of me. And even when I am with most wonderful people I don’t feel one of them despite the fact that they are obviously showing how much they like me.

And I feel a lot of pressure because I'm autistic person in neurotypical world. As a person who stands for autism rights I want people to accept autism and end the discrimination towards it. And it's really hard, because society does not want to take me seriously. Not speaking about the part of humanity that ignores my existence at all.
And I still don't think that I'm the one who is wrong and needs to be healed, fixed or whatsoever. Most of the time I love being autistic. I have amazing minds and I'm able to separate my emotions from the rest of my minds. I know why I'm doing one or another thing and never ever did something just because everyone did that or just because that's the way You should do something. And one of the most wonderful things about being autistic is the fact that if I like something or someone I like it unstoppable (and that means really a LOT). I can spend hours and hours speaking or thinking about the same object and it never gets boring. Actually, the effect is opposite. More I think or talk about something, more I like it. I can watch my favourite films hundreds of times and after every time I like them more and more. When I speak about my obsessions, the rest of the world simply does not exist. So, yeah, even if to have autism means that other people will never get me completely and I will always be stuck in my doubts what is more important: to be the way I am or to fight for a good cause. I would never choose not to have it. Because even after hours of crying and giving up on humanity, there is something I always can rely on. The possibility to like something the way I do.

And I hate organisations like Autism Speaks so much. Maybe they did a lot of good and educated society about autism. But with their searches for magical cure, they are basically saying that I shouldn't exist. I must be erased and replaced with someone else who is perfectly fitting into someone's imaginary pattern. And just because my existence makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. Don't You think that if You can't stand the way I interact, the way I think or the way I react, You have some problems and not me? There is not only one way to be, and not only one way to interact with others!

My problem is not me, my problem is the world that can't stand the fact that not everyone is the same and not everyone has to fit into fucking patterns someone created to control the society.

When someone asks me what does it feel to have autism, I simply can not answer. Can You answer what does it feel to be neurotypical or to have brown eyes? Is there a special feeling of being something? Is there a special feeling for having nails? You just do have them or don't. The same goes to autism.

Why am I writing all this? Well, maybe because somewhere out there exist other people who do not fit into the pattern of someone's imaginary "normality" and who feel the same way I do. It's time to realise that it's ok to be the way You are or want to be and You never have to explain Yourself to others. If they can't get You, that's their problem. You do not have to be an example for anyone. As well, it's time to realise that fucking social rules are nonsense. If You want to interact about things You love, You can do it without useless 11 minutes talk about weather and prices of food. Do You know who even create this rule? I would say it was a meteorologist or someone else who was obsessed with the weather. . .

So, thank You for reading and hopefully You will think about after.

Copyright © Lex Kartanė

All rights reserved.
All works are copyrighted and not to be used without the permission of the author.

60 Comments

AIWS

AIWS is a strange invention in this planet - a machine with a brush, pen and camera in its hands. It just observes and pictures the sad and cruel reality of everyday life. If You do not get it, do not worry too much, it just means that You are average. But of course You are more than welcome to read, think about and even share Your very important thoughts. Just remember: the majority of humanity does not interest AIWS at all, so please, do not feel offended. It's not You, just Your mediocrity.

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Janise

25/8/2013 11:13:52 am

This is so beautifully written! It almost made me cry.
I have a friend with autism as well and I know how special autistic people are! Everyone should get an autistic friend just to realize the variety of the world.
And be a friend of autistic person is unbelievable feeling! ;-) not something you reach it very easy, but then you get their trust it's such a feeling! ;-)
I wish you to meet people in your way of life who understand the value of friendship!

Nikka

25/8/2013 01:19:45 pm

"My problem is not me, my problem is the world that can't stand the fact that not everyone is the same."
wonderful quote!!! should be used in many other topics as well.

pauper

25/8/2013 01:48:33 pm

As a parent of two children with AS, I'd like to have a cure, or a way to prevent it. I feel that this probably is genetically the condition and genes therapy could prevent it. For my oldest child future a "cure" may not be so necessary, but for my son, who is more moderately affected, point me toward a cure. He's trapped inside his body, unable to express his feelings. He tries sometimes, but he has interest towards his computer world than me his own mother! If I could have avoided all of the frustrations and challenges that my children face on a daily basis, I would, and I don't understand why any parent would say otherwise. but we can't even go to any normal places! amusement parks make my children anxious, friend parties drives them crazy, contemporaries are scariest topic. I get your point that are used the way you grew and the way you feel...but there a lot of parent and children who do not feel that way and have a lot of problems.

26/8/2013 04:47:19 am

Hello.
I do not want to sound rude or something, but You need to accept Your children the way they are and do not force them to do things they do not like. There is really no need to go to other children parties or amusement parks. What are these "normal" places at all? I was at amusement park only once and don't think that I will go here ever again, there are just way too many distractions, it's not possible to hold a conversation at all and I really did not find it fun. For me it's fun to speak or do something connected to the things I love.
As a child I cried in all parties, and from the age of 12 I stopped going to them. I've never had friends who would be my age, normally my friends were at least 10 years older.
I always spend more time with my computer with my mother as well. And I do not think that this wrong.
Also, I don't think that any "cure" can solve problems, and to solve the "problems" You mentioned is very easy, just do not go to those places, they are not something You can't avoid. And about friends.

megan

26/8/2013 08:30:31 am

I don't have autism, but as a child I hated amusemnt parks. Maybe just pay more attention to what your children like and bring them to those places?
I loved pantonimas and collecting birds : )

TheAlbertaRabbit

25/8/2013 02:35:54 pm

are you aware that cures are not for changing personalities, but for helping? if there are some individuals who present a genuine problem it is not so easy for them to find a place in the world. No-one wants barbaric solutions, so we keep looking for workable ones. don't you think that you would choose medicines knowing that you can live like everyone else not face problems you face now and feel accepted and loved, not a stranger in this planet?
Even if you can't heal autism properly, so it's best to do what we can to reduce the symptoms.

26/8/2013 04:20:57 am

The thing is that there is nothing to heal! Why aren't we healing left-handed people?
Not only autistic people facing problems in this world and it does not mean that there is something wrong with them.
For me it's not easy to find a place in the world, but it does not mean that I should be put into the right stereotype or replaced with someone else, so others can be happy. There a lot of people who are different in one or another way and do not have autism, would we like to "heal" them as well?

26/8/2013 08:32:24 am

how the hell you can say this is what needs to be delete and this part we are leaving?it's not so simple, that;s all system and complex.

shaun

25/8/2013 02:41:30 pm

Very interesting point, i wish more autistic persons write their opinion on the world!

26/8/2013 04:56:21 am

It's really hard to talk about autism, because many people do not get that, they still that this is disease and there is something wrong or need to be cured.
Even my psychologist advised me not to tell everyone about autism, only very close people, and not because there is something wrong with me, but because other people simply can't get that and will hurt me.

Robert

26/10/2013 05:59:00 am

Ok, here I am :D

Maybe I can add a little bit here from 70 years of experience with my autism (which I love :) )

From my early childhood on I had the great advantage, that my emotions are (almost) fully under control of my brain, not my stomach. This enables me to keep a strict separation between thinking and feeling, makes my thoughts clearer and my emotions more intense and less dangerous (yes dangerous, especially negative emotions, which easily run out of control and sometimes cost lifes)

One side effect of this separation is, that I can (and must) tackle all kinds of problems from an analytical standpoint which is a great help to find a solution.

Be it playing the violin (I studied it in my youth and I am still playing), be it writing computer programs (this was 45 years my profession), be it designing hardware, building prototypes, fixing large scale computers (did all that in these 45 years without changing the company more than twice), be it working with plants (one of my hobbies) teaching people (another hobby), windsurfing (unfortunately now ceased, I am too old), be it participating in dicussions of all sorts, debunking woo ideas, inventing and an hour later disposing "free energy machines" (Yes, I "invented" at least two dozen ideas of that sort, pretty well knowing they can never work :D )

Conclusion - I lived a full and very interesting life, I did my best (unfortunately not always successful) not to hurt other people. Death is not a nightmare for me, I see it, as agnostic, as the totally natural goal in everyones life.

And that all, because there was no autism hystery when I was a child, all people were busy to survive the next days in the economical chaos after WW2, my father was dead and my mother too busy to spoil my development.

The only "disadvantage" of this sort of personality I experienced was/is a certain barrier on all sorts of first contacts, but I have - without therapy or drugs - learned, to easily overcome that and really everybody tends not to believe me when I tell them that I am autistic. And as soon as they believe it? I make them forget it five minutes later :D

Well, that's it

Jae

25/8/2013 02:52:50 pm

You are wonderful person, I can feel that from the way you write and observe the world! It takes a lot of courage to write what you wrote. It takes a lot of strength to say that you are different and that this is okay. thanks for writing this wonderful essay! ^*^
You are not alone and there a lot of people whose supports you on your way, maybe you don't know them yet, but never think that you are alone! ^*^

Micheale Rivers

26/8/2013 02:46:51 am

I really loved this article, although, through my own experience, I will disagree with few thing,
I don't like this labeling with autism, ADHD or AS.
All these disorders are opinion of our fellow citizen who again just like us ,at the end of it all. We as human are here to evolve .The universe is all way moving and we are here to ascend with it to a new way of living . Indigo children are children of the planet. It's about awareness that everything around it connected and you understand that. The sun and earth are our gods because they brought life. we have to look much more beyond the doctors and their labels to make everyone sick and label as a crazy.
so want the world to wake up and understand this. indigos are very old souls and need so much love. they are brought here to love and heal this planet. they are trying so hard to exist in a wacky world. they have a major responsibility to handle they need unconditional love. wake up people they are here to love you!

26/8/2013 05:01:03 am

I'm sorry, but I did not get most of it.
I find it important to have diagnosis (official or not official ones) of Asperger, autism, ADHD and any others, because they can help to deal with the world better and understand that there is nothing wrong with You as with a person.
I do not like this "indigo children" thing, but, yeah, I was told that I'm indigo child many times as well, because I'm way too special, I'm coming to save the world from the stars, then a lot of religious stuff.

Keelin

26/8/2013 03:21:31 am

why is it insulting to mention that you do not look autistic? take it as a compliment!

26/8/2013 04:13:28 am

First of all, it suggests that "normal" (not autistic) is the standard to that everyone should appear or act. I strongly disagree with that. everyone can be the way they want and do whatever they want as long as they are not hurting someone.
Also, it suggests that I may do not have autism and lying or something else. And at all, autism doesn’t look like anything. There are no distinctive physical features or the rules that if You did this or that, You do not have autism.

26/8/2013 04:14:04 am

Oh, and I do not think that not being autistic should be a compliment, that insults even more.

Sparrow

26/8/2013 10:25:42 am

are you saying that being autistic is something better and higher than not? that's what i'm really tired of, those arrogant aspergers who see themselves as way better than the rest of us.always pointing out that Einstein or another famous figure had autism and how wonderful they, are you forgeting how many wonderful figures haven't got autism and still changed the history, MORE? most of!
I have a son with autism and he is sweetest boy, but i know he never can live a normal life. i still love him, but always wondering who he would be if...
the way you speak sounds typical asperger (note the difference between autism and asperger). Thinking only about yourself and not seeing that autism is really a disease destroying lives. who will take care of my son when i'm not care if he is not cured? will you?

26/8/2013 01:14:07 pm

@Sparrow,
No, I'm not saying that being autistic is better or worse. You can't compare two different things like that, You can't compare if it's better to have green or brown eyes, as well if it's better to be homosexual or heterosexual, or be a cat or a dog. It simply does not work that way. There is no better.
I find it important to mention famous people who had autism, and not because I want to devalue NTs achievements, but because it's important to show to society that people with autism can be (and are!) successful.
I know the difference between AS, low and high functioning autism. But they all fall under ASD.
No, I'm not planning to take care of Your son (neither someone else's), and that argument is pretty irrelevant. And if You think that autism destroys lives, well, yeah. . . can't say too much to You. I don't think that autism destroys lives, I think that ignorance does.

TP-64.7-V

26/8/2013 06:55:25 am

I have AS and think that many aspergers can relate to this post also.
But i never dare to say this is public, I'm so oppressed in this world...no one is able to understand me, I have friends, but they don't understand me. I stopped speaking about my special interests with them and only keep talking about small topics, girls and boys.
I stuck inn need of love and finding my life partner, but because of asperger's very nature i'm not able to connect with most of them...i really try to be nice and sweet, but they don't like me in romantic way.i'm a little anxious for contacts with people, but i really like to get hugs and i want to be kissed and loved...

26/8/2013 01:36:17 pm

Thanks a lot for sharing Your thoughts with me. I find it quiet sad that You stopped interacting about the things You love just because other people can't get that. The only thing that lets me to survive, create and do any other things is the possibility to have obsessions and share my interests about them from time to time with others.
Well, I can't advice on relationships, I happened to be not only autistic, but as well asexual and even the idea of changing body liquids with other people I find unpleasant. I like physical contact with other people only because of sociological meaning beyond it. I almost never initiate it on my own. And I do not have friends. But there are lot of autists who have relationships, get married and so on.

26/8/2013 08:28:33 am

I can sign after every world you wrote!!!
i don't have autism, but as well feel the need to change the society, to let it accept everyone the way they are wothout social norms. I like to wear big shoes and shave almost all my head, and most of people don't get that,that's not normal, hahaha! of course it's not the same, but why the hell others shoudl care about others looks, believes, actions, everyone feels so much the importance to show their opinion about everything specially when they know nothing : )
Felt like sharing with you <3 (left my email if you ever up to chat, i think you are very interesting human being)

Quentin

26/8/2013 10:13:08 am

I think it's wrong to call myself Autistic, because labeling like that sets up an us v. them you like build a wall between yourself (autism) and the rest (non-autism). We should just see people as people and get rid of all that labeling. Conditions can stay at doctors. See yourself as a wonderufl and inspiring human being! Normal is what you make it. Autism isn't abnormal, it's another version of normal. People need to get over this fear of an autism pandemic and learn the forgotten arts of acceptance and unconditional love.
Thank you for writing it.

26/8/2013 01:39:20 pm

I really did not get everything You wrote, but thank You for sharing Your thoughts. Anyway, I find it very important to know that You have autism, because the diagnosis tells You that there is NOTHING wrong with You.

egghead

26/8/2013 10:37:09 am

I have aspergers and disagree with you. I know that i never will make friends and never be like everyone else and I hate that. People used to bully me, call bad words and take away all i liked.
you possivle can't think that you are right and the rest is wrong. and who who, but doctors know better.
what to do with all your minds and ideas and clevereness than you even cant have real friends?? I wish to be like everyone else...

26/8/2013 01:51:22 pm

Well, majority is not always right, and I'm almost always right, and surprisingly I'm SO much minority. In almost every bigger group I'm minority, and still that does not mean that I'm wrong.
Also, there are different specialists and they have different opinions. Autism is still quite controversial topic, a lot of doctors do not think that there is something wrong with autistic people and most problems autists face are caused by society.
I do not wish to be like someone else (and never did), I wish that people stop comparing, competing, cheating, tricking and hurting others.

abyssquick

26/8/2013 12:51:47 pm

Euphoria. normally you feel euphoria because of drugs, lack of oxygen or so, but many autistic people experience something they call euphoria without that. That really interest me, do you experience this 'high' feeling without drugs also?

FoxHimura

27/8/2013 03:48:46 pm

i have AS as well and cant get why nts cant get us.i used to explaim myself to them many many many times and explain how i need to speak about my special interest just to be able to avoid all anxious etc,they told understood and start avoiding me,i really tey to explain that i cant control sometimes some thigns, it;s like breathing for me to express my interests, when i cant i start getting attacts, moods etc...
i wish to be like you able to love myself as i am and not caring about the restt

27/8/2013 04:44:33 pm

陳泓輔

28/8/2013 09:31:57 am

Wonderful!!!everyone should read it!

kaT V kA

29/8/2013 04:04:37 am

thanks for your courage to write this! i'm transgender and i know what it means to speak up about your issues and how it hurts to be misinterpreted and not accepted for who you are.
to know someone who is special is a gift,a lot of people are the same,holding their boring lives and do nothing and YOU, hell yea by writing this blog you already did way more than most of them will do ever! you really rock!
This is another good article
http://www.geocities.com/growingjoel/friendship.html
everyone who knows autists shoudl read it to know how different they are,and make friends,for me it really helped to understand my bf (who also happens to have as)much more
best for you!

29/8/2013 01:49:22 pm

Thanks a lot for the link, it's great!

Alexander Biebricher

29/8/2013 10:32:55 am

I see this asperger tendencies over and over,autists never ask for something more just acceptance and aspergers have this arrogance and omnipotence seeing themselves better than the rest of humanity.why u do this?accuse others being wrong, worse so on and you the one who is always right and know the truth and no problems.actualy i think those aspregers is just an excuse to eccentric figures to act the way they want and not facing sequences.
i realy cant stand this behaviour of every aspergers their nonsences about other planets, not belonging and still claiming to be advanced species new human. everyone have problems not only you, look around

29/8/2013 01:43:46 pm

Please note, that YOU SEE, YOU THINK and YOU CAN'T STAND.
If I accuse someone, maybe that's because I have my own reasons for doing that. And maybe there is a reason why other people treat You as lower species. A lot of other factors should be taken, but from Your post You do not seem to have really advanced thinking abilities.

Karl

29/8/2013 03:42:53 pm

You sound like a very beautiful woman, and very intelligent. and you are right, do not let the haters try to dictate your life.

frank d

29/8/2013 04:25:50 pm

u are amazing and we hope you know that! ;-) we are proud of u and glad to call u a friend.
your passion drives!
and if some ratbags don't like you, screw them up.by hurting u they actually just show their blunt side.
no one ever in this world worth any tear of yours!there are lot of wonderful peeople who always love u as u are no matter what.
LG
frank + silke

4/9/2013 02:32:56 pm

Thank You, it's very nice of both of You. Just to make sure I do not have any friends at the moment.

Kroll

30/8/2013 02:56:49 am

I always support autism speaks and stem cell treatment actually looks adequately promising. Something causes the white matter in the brain to have some gaps that reduce communication and stem cells can restore the missing white matter to rebuild this brain abnormality.

Lionel

30/8/2013 07:42:49 am

most of people are searching for same as they are and they are scared of everyone who is different more than this "normal", and then u are so scared trying to put everything into some frames trying to survive, even without wanting u start dehumanize others who are not like u. this is not normal, normals dont do that.
but there are lot of wonderful people who escaped out of this and love variety. they can see and feel how special you are and support and appreciate u <3

S.F.

30/8/2013 10:14:53 am

just be as you are and do what you can the best and the rest of humanity, oh well, let them just to fuck up. there always be those sons of the bitch who cause pain and want world to turn around them, best you can do is to ignore them at all,they feel happy by causing pain.
you seem to be really great person

GaryW

2/9/2013 03:03:22 am

I dont buy this asperger's thing at all.AS is a bit of a fad. in fact those aspies have nothing particularly in common with autistic spectrum... theyre simply attention seekers with poor social skills who don't find any ground with all those average fellows surrounding them . I must not forget about serious personality disorders like borderline or schizoid.
you know its a huge "trend" to have Asperger's lately and it made no good for autism spectrum at all. just show those "smart" individuals with no or almost no social skills showing how "clever" they are to the rest of us. really not buying it and often they are not clever at all! intellectual individual doesnt seek attention with cheapness.

Anjy

4/9/2013 02:18:45 am

Gary, you should be ashamed of yourself but you probably don't know any better. There are - fortunately - ways to distinguish between AS and personality disorders, but to tell a person with AS he/she is just "attemtion seeking" is like telling a homosexual he's just doing it for the love of being different. As a person with Aspergers (I'm not very fond of that term "Aspie") who got a lot of attention (aka bullying) throughout my life from my condition I forgive you - but only just.

4/9/2013 02:42:57 pm

Aspergers have nothing in common with autism, except the little fact that Asperger Syndrome is the part of autism spectrum. Hm. . .

Lynne

2/9/2013 05:29:01 am

totaly agree,autistic children are presents to us from god to teach us love and tolerance. really can't get why we need to change them, we forgot how to love and autistic children and everyone who is special here to teach us.
god bless you, girl!

QuirkPengueen

2/9/2013 06:52:08 am

Really nice post.

Dan Norcott

2/9/2013 06:56:29 am

You rock. Very well said.

4/9/2013 02:25:22 am

Love the article. There's so much in it I can relate to, though I defiinitely lack your spunk and self-esteem. But then, people with AS are not solely defined by their autism, aren't we? There are different temperaments and characters among AS, too, I see my AS not as a disease that ought to be cured but as a different condition of the brain, not even necessarily a defect. I once read a thesis about the possible reason for Autism that the neurons travel not horizontally but vertically in the autistic brain. And of course the angle between horizontally and vertically can be different and thus different degrees of autism. Sounded convincing to me, Also, I believe that this condition we now call autism may have been just the thing in other centuries or in different cultures. It was rude to look a stranger into the eyes, especially for women, a hundred years ago. It still is rude in Asia. Maybe Autistics just don't fit into THIS society and therefore are seen as weird or even ill.
On a different note - do you mean to say that other people do NOT watch their favorite movies a hundred times? Why then buy a DVD at all? ;-)

4/9/2013 02:50:17 pm

Well, I've never met any NT who would watch the same film hundred of times, normally they watch the movie once, maybe twice a year. Maybe another time with a friend.
I won't deny that some NTs do that as well and watch their favourite films every day again and again, I just didn't meet them yet.

Coral Perez

7/9/2013 07:26:11 pm

I know what do you feel. I am an aspie too and every single time that my curebie mom calls my asperger "the problem" I feel I want to scream out and give her a slap!
I would be love to leave her, but I am almost 15 and untill I'll be 18 I'm stuck with her. My friends (the ones how know, I mean) don't really care about it (and if they do - they think it's a gift), but my own mother? Oh no, I have to be NT to please her.

21/9/2013 03:38:19 pm

Thank You for sharing it! That is kind of sad that Your mother cannot accept the way You are. . . But again, my parents (like most of the people) do not understand what Asperger really is, and what I do things not out of the principle to annoy others, it just the way I am. And most of the time it's out of my control.

Jim Travis

19/9/2013 08:25:33 am

great insight. everyone should read and not only for awareness of autism, but all mental disorders and just the different way of living ;-)
thanks for sharing ur minds with everyone! you are inspiration for many people, keep up all your works and hopefully u never give up! ;-)

scorch

24/9/2013 04:11:46 pm

I also have asperger but unlike you if there was a cure for these conditions I would definitely take them! I am 40 years age, so I can honestly say that at young age you may not want to "cure" your condition, but I promise you that if you become "unemployable" and not likeable because of your condition, then you "will" want to cure it. If you can't keep a job and have real friends I promise you will want to be as normal as most people are.

26/10/2013 07:10:04 am

What's the reason for "unemployable and "unlikeable"? Is your autism so serious, that you cannot compensate the symptoms with consequent training (which I did in my youth - now I am 70 and look back at an interesting life, which I'd never exchange against another one.

To be loved (and employed as well) is a function of your own behaviour. The style of your writing suggests, that you are intelligent, so why not try to make the best of yourself - train your abilitie and try to get rid of at least some of your "disabilites", again by training.

In my youth I had a huge problem (juas as example) to enter an unknown restaurant - it felt as if there was an invisible barrier. But I kicked myself into my *ss, deep breathing and I was inside (after several unsuccessful attempts). Next time it was less dfficult and after ten times (in different establishments) it was (almost) easy and normal...

sophia

26/9/2013 04:30:09 am

love this powerful writing, gives a great insight to all inert world of autism. wish more people were understanding and respect others...

Yasir

19/1/2014 11:24:06 am

"Most of the time I love to have autism."

<3

19/1/2014 11:38:23 am

I do not know much about autism. Was just reading a book and came across some detailed aspects of it. I'm just 16 yrs old btw. I then became curious, and wanted to befriend an austistic person. I tried to search on facebook something like 'Austism Adding' but no result. I found pages on Autism, and the way people were talking about their children being autistic, made me felt heartless, because it looked like that these people need lots of affection. i continued to view posts, stories, and finally i stumbled on this article. It's really beautifully written. <3 You made me regain my desire to make friend with an autistic person, not to ask him/her about it, but just to be friends, i would see the difference by myself. btw, i wanna befriend you. i just liked your page, and followed you. :P

19/1/2014 03:01:22 pm

Hello Yasir, thanks a lot for Your lovely words.
Where do You live? Maybe there is a special centre for autism, or something that could connect autistic people? You could just join them and try to be their friend, speak about things they are interested, I think they would appreciate that. You know, every person is different, and it takes time to get them to know better, but I hope You will meet lovely autistic people Yourself.

Thanks a lot for Your support.
Cheers,
Milda

20/1/2014 08:16:32 am

ok. Thank you too :D

Katharina

20/1/2014 07:50:12 pm

This post is epic. Truly epic. I've recently been diagnosed - it was the greatest weight off my mind. I feel so free now - I love the phrase you use - my empathy comes from my intellect - it's the explanation in a nutshell. So often I've heard 'oh, you can't be autistic, you have friends/emotions/are a nice person/so open and people can talk to you...' - yes, it's true. One of my obsessions HAPPENS to be people. So it earned how to be NT. I am like an undercover Aspie in an NT world ;)
The key is, I had to actively learn this. It's not something that comes naturally, and even now, there's a time delay in my responses on occasion as I have to think 'err, is it hugs or tissues or a smile in this situation?' - and then work it out from the cues I've learned.

I do not feel the need to be cured. I can however empathise with parents of children who are on the low functioning end of the spectrum, who's kids are locked in - mind you, that tends to be with a whole host of other disabilities, so curing autism isn't going to help much anyway... But I guess parents want what they think is best - or easiest - for their kids. When I have babies, I'll be delighted with them, ASD or NT :)

Thanks for this blog - I'm going to read some other of your articles now :) lots of love!!! xox

Juliana link

10/5/2019 04:32:28 am

"I'm not broken"

aiws

I'm not the one who needs to be fixed, it is You who is wrong!

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