This time I decided to write a little bit about autism. Many people are aware that I am autistic, and for those who are not - well, from now You are. Very often when people hear that I am autistic for the first time, they can't believe that I do have it or opposite - that it s so obvious that there is something different about me. Whatsoever, both of those reactions are pretty insulting. I hope that it's just me who gets them and not other people, because it really can hurt. If You want to know more about autism, visit WrongPlanet and You will find plenty of information. As well You can ask me, I'm very happy to answer any questions You may have.

So, yes, I am autistic. As well I do have brown eyes and dark hair. And I do have two hands and ten fingers. Can You believe that? And inside my body I do have a liver and even lungs. Can't change that either, sorry! Some people are autistic and You should get over it. And yes, I'm clever and I'm able to hold a conversation. Why I do not look lack of empathy? Maybe because my empathy comes from my intellect that is way better than from Your emotions, those are changing every day or even every hour. No, I do not try to be like some characters from Your favourite TV shows, and mostly likely I even do not know them. Yes, I'm able to hold eye contact, but still can't get why it is needed and I chose not to do that, because I prefer to concentrate on what You are saying and not on other moving objects. Yes, I remember what You told me six days ago, I remember what You told me one month ago and most likely I remember what You told me two years ago, and that does not make me strange, I just pay attention when You are talking, because You are talking with me, aren't You? It's not my problem that You can't remember and I have no intentions to make these things up. Why do I ask so many questions? Simply because without asking I will never get an answer. No, just because I'm nice does not mean that I would like to change body liquids with You. No, I'm not bored to speak about the same things again and again, actually I love that! Yes, I do have feelings. No, I'm not over reacting. . .
Most of the time I feel like I do belong nowhere. No one knows what is wrong with me, but everybody knows that I am the biggest mistake in this planet. I can learn everything about humanity and social interactions, because I have brains, can make connections and notice things very well, but all of it will never be a part of me. And even when I am with most wonderful people I don’t feel one of them despite the fact that they are obviously showing how much they like me.

And I feel a lot of pressure because I'm autistic person in neurotypical world. As a person who stands for autism rights I want people to accept autism and end the discrimination towards it. And it's really hard, because society does not want to take me seriously. Not speaking about the part of humanity that ignores my existence at all.
And I still don't think that I'm the one who is wrong and needs to be healed, fixed or whatsoever. Most of the time I love being autistic. I have amazing minds and I'm able to separate my emotions from the rest of my minds. I know why I'm doing one or another thing and never ever did something just because everyone did that or just because that's the way You should do something. And one of the most wonderful things about being autistic is the fact that if I like something or someone I like it unstoppable (and that means really a LOT). I can spend hours and hours speaking or thinking about the same object and it never gets boring. Actually, the effect is opposite. More I think or talk about something, more I like it. I can watch my favourite films hundreds of times and after every time I like them more and more. When I speak about my obsessions, the rest of the world simply does not exist. So, yeah, even if to have autism means that other people will never get me completely and I will always be stuck in my doubts what is more important: to be the way I am or to fight for a good cause. I would never choose not to have it. Because even after hours of crying and giving up on humanity, there is something I always can rely on. The possibility to like something the way I do.

And I hate organisations like Autism Speaks so much. Maybe they did a lot of good and educated society about autism. But with their searches for magical cure, they are basically saying that I shouldn't exist. I must be erased and replaced with someone else who is perfectly fitting into someone's imaginary pattern. And just because my existence makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. Don't You think that if You can't stand the way I interact, the way I think or the way I react, You have some problems and not me? There is not only one way to be, and not only one way to interact with others!

My problem is not me, my problem is the world that can't stand the fact that not everyone is the same and not everyone has to fit into fucking patterns someone created to control the society.

When someone asks me what does it feel to have autism, I simply can not answer. Can You answer what does it feel to be neurotypical or to have brown eyes? Is there a special feeling of being something? Is there a special feeling for having nails? You just do have them or don't. The same goes to autism.

Why am I writing all this? Well, maybe because somewhere out there exist other people who do not fit into the pattern of someone's imaginary "normality" and who feel the same way I do. It's time to realise that it's ok to be the way You are or want to be and You never have to explain Yourself to others. If they can't get You, that's their problem. You do not have to be an example for anyone. As well, it's time to realise that fucking social rules are nonsense. If You want to interact about things You love, You can do it without useless 11 minutes talk about weather and prices of food. Do You know who even create this rule? I would say it was a meteorologist or someone else who was obsessed with the weather. . .

So, thank You for reading and hopefully You will think about after.

Today is World Elephant Day. Elephant is kind of the symbol of all the animals who are spending their lives in captivity to entertain human beings. They are torn from their natural environment, locked in too small cages and forced to perform tricks. And all just that a few people can enjoy themselves! Humane live in captivity is not possible for elephants (and other animals); neither in a zoo neither in a circus. In their original habitats elephants daily walk up to 20 kilometres. Therefore it is very easy to imagine how bored must be these animals in too small cages, without the opportunity to live the life they originally would. According to recent statistics 200 elephants are currently living in Germany. All (except one) circus elephants were born in the wild, captured at a young age and transported to Germany...  Just use google or any other search tool and You will find a lot of information about that.
I'd like to take this occasion to call to all the people and make them to think about non-human animals who have to suffer in captivity. I hope for a day when all of animals are free. . .

And when someone says that I can't decide what is the best for animals, just because I cannot ask them or because they would have different opinion than I do, I have to admit that many times they are right. Many animals would have different opinion than I do. Well, what I can say, ask average human if (s)he would like to be completely free? Or let's back to the near past, when it was believed that slaves did not want freedom. So, was it ethical to end slavery? Now, I imagine all of You thinking about ethics and getting the idea that not, we can't free the slaves, they do not know better, and it's ok to keep them. They can't survive on their own, they need to have the master (of course the good and fair one, who does not beat them and so on). But to free them? No, no, no, they do not want freedom. . .

And even if elephant I know could tell me what she wants, and would choose to stay in captivity, it would mean absolutely nothing to me. And not because I do not respect her opinion. Of course I do! But we have to admit that in some situations someone's very important Opinion is meaningless. When oppressed women are coming back to their husbands, who rape and beat them again and again, are we saying that it is ok because they chose to come back? Are we saying that this life is ok and we can't change anything, because they simply do not know better? Shouldn't we try to free them and teach them to have a life of their own? Don't we understand that this is only because they know no better, they have nothing else and the love they love their husbands is the same love slaves loved their masters? Of course we do (or at least people claim so). So why can't we see the parallel between this situation and animals in captivity?

It is very humanoid to own everything around You. Everything around teaches that this world was created to You. No one cares that we build roads on someone's house. No one cares about snails and run over them. No one cares about worm who is sinking in the pool. And no one ever would step into the ice water in the middle of winter just to rescue it (except those crazy people like me). Even religions teaches You that Man owns the world. To separate from that idea on Your own You need to have a very strong personality. If You are not surrounded by people who think so, it is very hard to make a decision on Your own and to be the one who stands up the first. It is easy to follow others. But to stand up alone, to dare to speak and admit that You were wrong is hard. It is fucking scary and so hard. You need to believe in what You are doing infinitely. . .

Many animal rights activists believe that people in zoo or circus do not love animals. How can You love someone and let them suffer? How can You love someone and ignore their pain? To understand that paradox You need to separate Your personal feelings and facts. So, yeah, I won't be popular between animal rights activists (not only because I would not listen to animals' opinion), but I believe when a person from circus says that he loves animals. There is no one way to love. Love is not a thing that You can put into strict definition. You can't say that only this type of love is right, and the rest is wrong. Anyway, many parents who beat their children still love them. They just do not know better and believe that this is the right thing to do. It is very wrong to cause pain to others, does not matter what circumstances. But how can we judge someone? People should understand that not another person is bad or wrong, but his actions. People love to dehumanise others. Everyone who is different in one or another way, everyone who do not follow one's moral norms is considered as scum, freak, villain and very often labelled as a bad person. Animal rights activists dehumanise animal trainers from time to time. And opposite, people from circus dehumanise animal rights activists. Why? Because the fact that both are the same people are just too disturbing. Most of humans feel very close connections to each other, so no one wants to accept that the killer is just a person like You with feelings, wishes and minds. . .

And still if You want to change something, You have to understand that everyone is different, and there is no one truth. I wish that there were more animal rights advocates out there, I wish that people would finally realise that it is ok to be different and by criticising someone's action, You do not attack the person. We all want to live in a better (one or another way) world, but still so stick to our own truth that cannot realise that there is a lot of place for many of them and they do not necessary contradict each other. . .

Ok, have a wonderful World Elephant Day!

And I simply cannot not to share the text about the protest that was my favourite protest of the year 2012 (originally I wanted to add the link, but website where it was published is closed due some circumstances) - World Elephant Day in Kaufbeuren:

"Protest am Welt-Elefanten-Tag, 12. 8. 2012, vor Circus Krone in Kaufbeuren
Am Welt-Elefanten-Tag, 12. August 2012, fanden in vielen Städten Demonstrationen vor Einrichtungen statt, in denen Elefanten ihr Leben in Gefangenschaft zubringen müssen. Um 12 Uhr fand sich eine Gruppe von sieben Aktivist_innen vor dem Circus Krone zusammen, der seine Zelte in Kaufbeuren aufgeschlagen hatte, um dort zu protestieren. An diesem Tag sollten zwei Zirkusvorstellungen gegeben werden.
Ziel des Protests war, die Zirkusbesucher und Passanten über die für nichtmenschliche Tiere unwürdigen Umstände der Tierhaltung in Zirkussen aufzuklären und die Forderung nach Abschaffung von Tierhaltung in Zirkussen bekannter zu machen. Dazu wurden zwischen den Eingängen zum Zirkuszoo und zum Zirkus selbst Plakate aufgehängt, die mit Slogans wie "Artgerecht ist nur die Freiheit" und "Kein Applaus für Tierquälerei" die Anliegen der Aktivist_innen unterstreichen sollten.
Die Aktivist_innen teilten sich in zwei Gruppen auf, um sowohl die Besucher des Zoos als auch die des Zirkus ansprechen zu können. Die Aktivist_innen verteilten Flyer an die Passanten und führten mit Interessierten und mit Zirkusbesuchern Diskussionen. In den Diskussionen ist das Argument, dass es nichtmenschlichen Tieren in anderen Tierausbeutungseinrichtungen schlechter ergehe als im Circus Krone, sehr häufig gefallen -- als ob das Leid eines anderen nichtmenschlichen Tiers das Leid eines anderen rechtfertigen würde.
Zwischen den Vorstellungen machten die Aktivist_innen eine kleine Stärkungspause und unterhielten sich mit Schere-und-Papier-Tricks, die neuesten Erkenntnissen der Möbiusband-Forschung entstammen.
Danach ging es in die zweite Runde der Informationsveranstaltung, die im Wesentlichen wie die erste verlief: Es wurden viele Diskussionen geführt. Um 18 Uhr beendeten die Aktvist_innen die Aktion, mit dem Wissen um die guten Ergebnisse dieser Aktion: Es konnten viele Personen auf die Umstände nichtmenschlicher Tiere in Zirkussen aufmerksam gemacht werden. Außerdem entschlossen sich einige Passanten, die ursprünglich eine Vorstellung besuchen wollten, das unwürdige Spektakel des Tierzirkus nicht mit ihrem Geld unterstützen zu wollen, und machten kehrt. "
© Jonathan Ott, 26.08.2012

What next?

• Visit our project Boykott Circus Krone to find out more about our actions concerning the biggest animal circus in Germany and probably in the whole Europe.
• Visit Elephant Haven website, and in case You feel like supporting a very great project, feel free to do so! I find it very important to have elephant sanctuary in Europe and support this initiative whenever I have time.
• Raise as much awareness about animal rights as possible every day.
• Organise protests in Your area, write letters to local media and educate others whenever You are able to.
• And of course, boycott all zoos and circuses with animals.

There are many many other ways how You can dedicate to this very important topic. The fact that You already think about is already a big step to this direction, because most of the people don't.
I'd love to write about, raise awarenesses, participate in every action and help organising things concerning animal and human rights, but I'm just one person, and there is not enough time for me to do that. But everyone of You are the same human beings as I am, and You can do many great things! Anyway, feel free to share everything that is relevant (or not) to the topic, I appreciate every single mind. Unfortunately it's simply not possible to react to every email and note I get, but I read them all. Keep writing to me. Thank You!

• Live vegan. Think vegan. And act vegan.