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aiws


The world obliges me to do something, so I create.
 Society wants me to belong, so I observe.
People force me to react, so I rebel.
They want me to stay still, so I paint.
Life requires me to live, but I am dying. . .

A great mind must be androgynous

11/7/2013

24 Comments

 
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I'm so tired of people who claim to be respectful to different opinions and life styles, but still discriminate everyone who do not fit into their imaginary pattern. I cannot understand why if person is not heterosexual, the rest of humanity feels the necessity to start questioning all aspects of everyday life, beliefs and sex experience of that person.
For example, relative to heterosexuals, and even relative to homosexuals and bisexuals, humans expressed more negative attitudes toward asexuals and desired less contact with them. Moreover, of all the sexual minority groups studied, asexuals were the most dehumanized! Asexuals were dehumanized not only mechanistically, but as well animalistically. They were seen as relatively cold, emotionless and unrestrained, but as well as impulsive  and less sophisticated. Surprised? I'm not, conclusions just showed what I always knew: most of humanity is simply lack of understanding.
If someone claims to be asexual, that means that this person is asexual and all questions should be over. It does not mean that person did not find the right partner or the sex was not good enough. You do not need to have sex with marguerites to be sure that You are not attracted to flowers (or do You?), so why another person should try to have sex if feels no necessity?

Asexuality also needs to be included in queer theory because it challenges the notion of biological essentialism. It namely challenges the essentialist notion that every human being has a need for “reproductive” sex or rather, heterosexual sex, and that every person is “made” that way. Asexuals challenge this notion in the same way lesbians and gay people do. Asexuality questions whether sex should even be viewed in society as something special, whether it should be seen as normative and the only way people can relate. By questioning the very essentialness of sex, asexuality dismantles the idea of a “normative” sexuality or sense of sexual expression and opens the world to a possibility where all forms of sexual expression or lack of sexual expression are accepted because there is no template for “normal” sexual expression.  It “distorts debates about whether gays and lesbians are ‘born’ or ‘choose’ their identity” because it deconstructs “the underlying assumption that people have sexual inclinations of some sort; second, that these inclinations persist throughout the lifespan; third, that identity is stable; and last, that sexual practices can form identities” Fahs
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Statistic in the work of Cara C. MacInnis showed that those who disliked homosexuals also disliked bisexuals and asexuals (and other queers). But what really sad is that asexual people are not fully accepted by LGBTQ community;  very often it is claimed that asexuals seem to be “perfectly normal human beings” trying to claim an orientation. Perfectly normal? what is that at all? If someone does not have sexual desire, that means just that person feels no sexual desire and has nothing to do with Normality. In fact, asexuals also suffer from heterosexism in society, they are currently even more invisible than any other LGBTQ groups. . . I agree that the discrimination asexual people experience is different from the one homosexual people get, but there are a lot of similarities. Asexuals as well get suggestions to be healed, their existence is denied (in fact, more often than any other queer group). And most importantly asexuals have a common cause with other LGBTQ  people - to challenge the prevailing heteronormative presumptions.

"Sex is. There is nothing more to be done about it. Sex builds no roads, writes no novels and sex certainly gives no meaning to anything in life but itself." Gore Vidal
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Another group that gets similar problems in queer world is pansexuals. Many people even did not heard about them! And still many deny their existence. Pansexuals are erased, ignored or disrespected. . . Well, to be pansexual is not the same as bisexual. There are more genders than cis-women and cis-men. Pansexuality teaches to accept and embrace the fact that there are more genders in the world.
I'm kind of lucky that I met so many bisexual, androgynous and transgender people in my life. I'm very lucky that when I was young I had a possibility to spend my time with my queer friends instead of mainstream. I'm kind of lucky that I never had to question other people's sexuality and never doubt the genders they introduced themselves.

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I'm going to Christopher Street Day (CSD) on Saturday (that was created in memory of the gay uprising in New York’s Christopher Street in 1969). And so much looking forward to that!
Many people told me that there is nothing to improve for homosexual people's rights in Germany. But they forget that there are a lot of others people who are neither homosexual neither heterosexual. There are not only monosexual people in this world. There are not only two genders.
way to go till EVERYONE will be able to live their own lives without being judged, threatened and abused.

Gender is more or less optional. . .
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Well, most of humans are simply lack of real possibility to understand others, and one of their greatest hobbies is to intervene in other people's lives. Everyone who thinks differently tries to destroy safety or just wants to show how special they are. Haha, no one asks for exclusive rights, just for respect and understanding that everyone is different. And it's OK to be different. It's OK challenge the society. And everyone should be free to choose their gender.
And love should be about LOVE, not GENDER!

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And another thing that has happened to me is fabulous Jérémy who came to South Germany. Thanks to wonderful Japanese culture not only for promoting queer rights and androgynous people, but as well for letting me to meet Jeremy. We "knew" each other for about 5 years and discussed about Japanese culture, Visual Kei and queer rights from time to time, but I was really surprised when he came to Germany and suggested to meet. Normally I do not have intentions to meet with strangers, but for J I did an exception, because with his own existence he fights the norms of the heteronormative society. That is a great challenge and everyone who does that is awesome.
Perhaps I just like to disagree with society.

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So, I would like to thank Jérémy for posing and spending time together. You are wonderful and so beautiful! Everyone who dares to say differently, should go and fuck themselves or whatsoever. And there is no such rule that real men do not wear make-up or cannot have long nails. Decision to be a man, a woman or to have any other gender does not start with penis or vagina, it stars in one's brain, and everyone is free to choose who they want to be. And for the rest of humanity (that is not able to make their own choices) we can just feel sorry about. Thanks for the inspiration!

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And when we had a great photo-shoot!
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24 Comments
erik
11/7/2013 07:01:43 am

basically you are into freaks? ;-)

Reply
AIWS
12/7/2013 10:22:05 am

Depends on what do You mean by saying "into" and Your definition of "freaks".

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Haru
11/7/2013 09:41:37 am

You are amazing thank you for this wonderful perspective of sexuality and gender.
I myself am an Ace and Androgynous, and I know perfectly well what it means to be different and all.

ps: Japanese culture FTW ;)

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AIWS
12/7/2013 10:21:09 am

Thanks a lot Your nice words, it means a lot to me!

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あい
11/7/2013 01:45:12 pm

wow. this outlook is very impressive, thanks for writing the article! i'm androgynous and always feel left out...men see me as a stranger and do not want to speak with me, our conversations are so so. and women just see me as a pretty doll...when i had a girlfriend she just used me as her pretty toy to show to friends and be more popular.....now i'm scared to get in any closer contact with anyone...like i dont exist...no one says that into eyes, but you feel it.
i hope that many many people will read this article and stop putting their hate into others....

Reply
AIWS
12/7/2013 10:19:25 am

I find it very sad that people use others for things they shouldn't and cannot just like each other the way they are. I hope that You will be able to meet people who will appreciate Your personality!
And I very happy that You read my text and found it impressive. Thanks a lot for sharing Your feelings!
Milda

Reply
marKus
11/7/2013 03:53:07 pm


I hope you will never stop your fights.the work you do is so important and irreversible. hope that not only me but all queer comunity is happy to have you, you go!!!
ps:the second blue picture is really powerful.

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AIWS
12/7/2013 10:13:29 am

Thank You very much for Your nice words!

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sarah
12/7/2013 07:34:46 am

you say "Decision to be a man, a woman or to have any other gender does not start with penis or vagina, it stars in one's brain, and everyone is free to choose who they want to be" actually nott, no one can choose who to be, you born a woman or a man and that's all. and there is no another gender than male and female, transpeople are males or females and intersex is not a new gender as some of sex activists like you says, think not only about yourself, but about people who was born with pathology! think about their families and how they have to feel!they cannot live like that like another gender, they are males or females!

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AIWS
12/7/2013 10:12:38 am

Pathology? What kind? Intersexuality is not a medical or a social pathology.
The fact that society, parents, family, or someone else is not happy about intersexual people and it (according to people who follow concealment centered model) is highly likely to lead to great distress in the family and great distress for the person with an intersex condition is not argument to interfere into someone's body and to decide for them which sex they should have. That's highly unethical and not the person should change (or be changed), but the society.

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sarah
13/7/2013 01:13:26 am

we live not in theoretical mathematical world,wake up one day.
not you,but parents have to live with child,and how to tell them that they are degenerated?such child will suffer from isolation and lack of friends,thats what do you want?!
and later?what life will she have?forced to live alone without real love and partner?always seen as abnormal?

AIWS
21/7/2013 01:46:13 pm

@Sarah, degenerated? in which way?
No, I do not want that, please, do not create false conclusions. Everyone should be loved and appreciated for who they are and not for their sexual organs.
That's problem of society and not of the child who is intersexual. And society should understand that there is nothing wrong with a person who is different in one or another way, there are no such rules what is normal and what is not, we always can change them and create new rules.

Mett
14/7/2013 01:09:58 pm

yeeeeaaaaa....no sex-no people. how will we survive??

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AIWS
21/7/2013 12:46:14 pm

I'm sorry, but I cannot get Your comment. I've never said 'no' to sex, actually I'm quite sex-positive.

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uhjlk;
14/7/2013 04:07:54 pm

some points are very interesting, but:
some women put their fear of men to another women (aka lesbians), other become asexual, all its just traumatic sexual experiences.of course it's a long process, but good therapist will help to solve them (if you want to of course),

Reply
AIWS
21/7/2013 12:51:43 pm

Please, keep in mind that asexual people can engage in sexual things (and they often do so) and still be asexual.That also means that person does not have to try sex in order to be sure if (s)he is asexual or not; that has nothing to do with it. Being asexual means to have no sexual attraction, and to have or not to have sex it's a personal choice, that has nothing to do with "traumatic sexual experience". And homosexuality (or any other sexual orientation) has nothing to do with "traumatic sexual experience" as well.

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anton
19/7/2013 08:28:45 am

i was reading your blog on blogger, and all wonderful pieces are lost now, just wanted to tell that all work you are doing is so important. I hope you inspire others as well as you always inspire me! You go ♥!

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AIWS
21/7/2013 12:52:35 pm

Thanks a lot, it's very nice to hear that!

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lucus
19/7/2013 04:34:48 pm

one of the best articles covering the topic. thanks for sharing!

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AIWS
21/7/2013 12:53:05 pm

I'm glad You think so.

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fiku
21/7/2013 08:26:14 am

article is good, and you are on the right way in thinking, but your actions are different from what do you write. you even dont try to understand others, everyone who thinks differently is enemy for you. respect other opinions and they will respect your, understand that others dont have to like same things and respect their choice dont like.
its must be difficult to live having such personality.....

Reply
AIWS
21/7/2013 01:37:08 pm

Hello, it would be nice to know who You are, as this nickname says nothing to me and You definitely are informed about me and my Personality.
Anyway, I absolutely disagree with You. First of all, I'm capable to recognise ad hominem and it does not affect me. To be more precise it is argumentation fallacy called tu quoque (appeal to hypocrisy), because of someone's actions, arguments are not more or less reasonable.
And by the way, I've never claimed to have easy going personality.

Reply
frank
21/7/2013 03:03:51 pm

to fiku:
such personality :DDDD if everyone had even a little piece of personality as Milda has we would live in a better world.and i'm serious.she's really one of most interesting people i ever met and i'm glad to know her <3!
p.s. good things do not come easy.

Reply
Pierre
22/7/2013 03:33:22 am

There is no place to tolerate the intolerant. and A LOT of people love such personality.

Reply



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    AIWS

    AIWS is a strange invention in this planet - a machine with a brush, pen and camera in its hands. It just observes and pictures the sad and cruel reality of everyday life. If You do not get it, do not worry too much, it just means that You are average. But of course You are more than welcome to read, think about and even share Your very important thoughts. Just remember: the majority of humanity does not interest AIWS at all, so please, do not feel offended. It's not You, just Your mediocrity.

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